ePortfolio

Dear future me,

Your family has gotten you to the point you are at now, and don't you ever forget it. Thank God for each day. Your first semester of college taught you that it is so very important to be understanding. Not everybody lives the same life as you and not all of them have the same privileges as you. Many have more, many have less than you. Focus on the good. Try to remember the people that made you become you, including your friends and your teachers. College will determine your future, and your grades do matter, but the people will stay with you. Hopefully when you read this again, you've wisened up a bit and you are happy with where you are at. Don't take anything for granted! In the future, you many forget about College Writing 1, but you won't forget how you put in the work to get what you want. Hopefully you are still like that.

Hoping for the best,
Ashna Sran

Second Place

“And the person in second place is…”

Here it is… the moment that will define the months of hard work I put into this project. All the time I gave up, all the sacrifices I made all lead up to this moment.

To understand what this moment exactly means to me, we have to go back all the way to the beginning of my senior year of high school.

I had been a production student since my sophomore year, but only recently had reached the advanced class for video production my senior  year. Knowing this was my last year at high school, I knew I wanted to make something amazing and enter it to the MMEA video festival. This festival gathers about 20 high schools and has a competition for best videos in multiple categories. I did not know what I was going to make that year, but I knew I wanted to win. This was my chance to prove to myself that I could do this, that I did not spend three years learning this material for nothing. There was a lot at stake for me emotionally, and I knew I had to come through. As the first quarter went on, I tried my hand at multiple categories, but always found myself returning to the short film category. I found that I did pretty well in it, and was fairly successful with previous projects pertaining to this category. Slowly but surely, I started forming an idea.

My idea was fairly original and creative, but I knew that that is not all needed to make a winning video. I had to start writing a spectacular script. So I did. I wrote this elaborate script with a guy, a girl, and a time machine. I stayed after school nearly every day perfecting the script and asking my teachers for tips. However, the time was coming where I would see if all the hard work paid off. I made a schedule, got my equipment, crossed my fingers and hoped for the best.

Everything felt wrong. Rushed even. I sat behind the camera as my actors with zero chemistry proceeded to recite lines in a tone flatter than paper. I was dumbfounded by how the situation had turned out. It actually felt like I was working with children instead of adults. Any hope that I had for the video was destroyed in a one hour period. To add to this, I was filming outside so naturally, it was extra windy that day. From that, my audio from the microphone was completely destroyed. If wind could screech directly into your brain, my microphone made it happen. Needless to say, the project was kaput. I felt completely defeated. I had done everything right, how could this still happen to me? After wrapping up this project, I looked back at the footage and pretty much gave up. There were technical difficulties everywhere and everything just looked super awkward. After presenting the video to my class, my teacher even made a joke how it was like he could feel the wind on his face as he was watching it. As funny as that was, I was still devastated. How can I get my award if I failed so epically?

According to Diane Davis, rhetoricity is “an affectability or persuadability ... that is the condition for symbolic action” (Davis). For me, this is most apparent in when I failed at creating my video the way I wanted it. The trauma from trying my best and still being unable to succeed was terrible for me. After this, I needed to take action to fix what I had done wrong before. As a director, it is incredibly important to be resilient, and I felt that I still may have had another opportunity to be that.

A few months went by, and I was close to forgetting about the entire project altogether. However, I found my script again. I read it over again and I knew I could do so much better. So, I planned a comeback. This time, I did not work alone, and I got a friend of mine involved. I changed everything up, including the actors, location, scenes, lines, and equipment. I got a new set of strong actors and had help organizing everything out. I was ready this time.

This time around, things went much smoother. There was a great flow of ideas transferring between me and my partner, my audio sounded so much better and my actors knew what they were doing. I could not be more grateful. But the best thing was that I was having fun. I forgot about my past experience and felt much better with the new progress. As I sat down to edit, I was shocked at how much I had improved since the last time. I kept editing and fine-tuning, until my partner and I agreed there was nothing else left to do. After this, it was time to present my video in front of my class once again.

I was really nervous as I was preparing to present my work. Nevertheless, I put it on the screen, sat down and hoped for the best. Three minutes felt like three hours as I patiently waited for the end when I would finally receive feedback. As it came, I looked around the room hoping to get a hint at what might be said. Nothing. Those faces gave away absolutely nothing. Finally, someone just started clapping. And then, before I can even process it, everyone starts clapping. I am shocked, I would have never imagined that my work would be so well received! Turns out that all the effort I had made to change everything up completely paid off. However, as nice as this was, the challenge to win at the MMEA festival had only just begun.

To get into the festival, your work has to compete against other people in the same category in your own school. I submitted mine to be judged and had to wait a couple of weeks before I could hear back from the judges. I have no idea how I survived those couple of weeks. All I know is that I was nervous yet again. I was one step closer to my dream and I could not imagine taking a step backward again. So, the days dragged on and on until one day my teacher walked into class with some papers in his hands. There had been rumors that the list is out, but no one was sure, and those papers could only mean that those rumors were true. The entire class held its breath as the teacher sat down and started to talk.

“As you may know, the MMEA festival is approaching us soon. We have made decisions on who will attend.”

Okay, this is the moment. Deep breath in, deep breath out.

“First, the music videos”.

Alright, he will get to my category soon, I don’t doubt it.

“Now, the documentaries”.

“Next, the news packages”.

He went on and on. With each announcement, it seemed like he was avoiding my category. What does that mean? Is that good news or bad news?

“Finally, the comedic narratives. This topic was incredibly difficult to decide from because we can only send two people from our school. To everyone who did not get picked,” really hope he is not talking about me, “we are incredibly sorry.” It just felt like he was purposely torturing me now.

“We will be sending Ashna Sran and her partner to the festival.”

What?

Did he just say my name? He just said my name right? I looked at my partner, and she was practically jumping in her seat! I could not believe this! I am one step closer to winning that award! After this announcement, the days flew as we all prepared to host the festival.

On the day of the festival, it was crazy, to say the least. There was a feeling of excitement in the air. Schools came in and got seated and the event started. The process of announcing the winner was then announced. They would show clips of the top three finalists in random order on the big screen, and as those clips were shown their filmmakers needed to make their way down the stage. Then, 3rd place will be announced, then 2nd and finally 1st. After this, the categories started being announced. First was music videos, then a lot of different categories. Finally, towards the middle, it was time for the comedic narratives. The first nominee went on screen, and it was not me. Then, the second nominee went up. Still not me.

Deep breath in. Fingers crossed. Deep breath out.

As I looked up at the screen for the final nominee, I saw my video up there.

No way.

This is happening!

My partner and I were squealing as we jumped up and went to the stage. Then, it was time for the real business. Third place was announced and we found ourselves pleased that it wasn’t us. Next was second place. At this point, I was pretty much freaking out. I was so so so close.

The presenter announced second place.

It wasn’t me.

I won.

I actually won.

All that time, all that hard work and all that love and passion that I put in finally paid off.